Confession #1: It's Hard To Get Myself Out There

Yes, even with the many benefits of the Internet, I have to push myself to get myself out among the other struggling writers, something I am changing at this very moment.

In the mind of a pessimist, the more people that are on the Internet, means that there are more people to judge you straight off the bat. Grammar Nazis are at the top of these perpetrators, who will mince you into mushy morsels if you speel a wrd wrng on a typo. It's not hard these days to make a mistake on the keyboard, when we're typing at 100wpm at the least in an IM. And what with the popularity of text messaging and all, it's only natural that we drop a couple of letters or two, but most people will understand what you mean.

More people also means more trolls. They are the worst. Trolls bask in the safety behind (or in front?) their computer monitors, and become a faceless, hateful drone. This is because they lack a frontal lobe, the part of the brain that controls judgement.

I think you get the point. Knowing that there are more people around gives people like me, more reason to not take the initiative and say, "I am a great writer, and all of you should know it."

But...it isn't even really all of that. A part of me doubted myself. I believed that I was so unique that no one would ever understand me. I go to a private liberal arts school, and a good portion of the student body is privileged. Their poetry consists of abstract thoughts about "the next train coming...lovers passing through the present, only to live in the past..." That kind of stuff. I'm one of the best writers and translators on campus, but I feel like I have to prove myself to the staff over and over and over again how great I am. My aesthetic is different from the average hipster. Yes, I know that. But if I take out the time to enjoy, or at least appreciate your canon, you should do the same for mine.

After a talk with my father, who is also an artist, I basically learned that I have to step outside of what I live in. My college is not the end all to be all. Neither is my hometown. I'm orginally from the North Jersey/New York metro area, so I have more than enough opportunities to throw myself into the ring, without the fear of losing a few teeth. The latter is inevitable, and therefore I should not fear it. We only fear what we do not know.

I don't know much about life. I am young. I am only 19. But I do know this:

My name is Thalia, the Lady Scribe. I am the greatest writer in existence, and I will not rest until the entire world knows it.

If you have a dream, and you don't want to end up bitter, unfulfilled and aimless, then I suggest you say what I just said and ACT ON IT. You know you can do it. Dig deep.